Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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