I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
