i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
