idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
