Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
