Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
