Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize