girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
