So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
