two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
