Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
