your room smells of hookers.
And success
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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