you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
