i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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