Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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