I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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