When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
