Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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