The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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