I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
