i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
