I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
