I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
