i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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