Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I think your dad took our porno
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
