I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize