david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
