Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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