so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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