My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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