so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
