just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
