Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
