Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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