just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
