Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
