WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
