oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I need a burrito and a hug.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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