Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Randomize