Don't you send me to vm
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize