I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
