Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
