R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize