I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize