We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just sucked dick on a ferry
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
