His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
