TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Randomize
