My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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