Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
