Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
