Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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