I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
