The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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