So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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