I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
