Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
