you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
