There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
