Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
