He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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