FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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