So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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