Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
