He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
