Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
