Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
