I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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