you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
