...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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