We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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