just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
