i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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