butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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